Hi, I'm 27 and I live with my mother.

It's not so bad, really. She brings me coffee every morning with frothed almond milk. I actually get to work on time because of the coffee-in-bed ritual.

She's an excellent cook and great company. And she helped me clean out three years of abandoned hobbies and detritus friends have left behind from house parties and get-togethers. I feel guilty about that, but am so thankful that she was here.

So, it's been a while since my last post, and definitely not for lack of activity. Life activity increase = blog productivity decrease. C'est la vie.

I've been up to a lot! J finished grad school in December (yay!), schlepped through months of unsatisfactory work (boo) while searching for a satisfactory first-career job. He got an offer in May (yay!) right around our first anniversary. Who can believe I didn't blog about that one?!

J gave me some truly gorgeous anniversary flowers - birds of paradise, lilies and others - pictured here in case I never get around to dedicating a post to our anniversary... which is entirely possible.

Anyway, after months of anxiously awaiting news, a company that makes yogurt offered him a job! After ages of waiting, the usual "we need you to start... YESTERDAY." occurred. Chaos ensued.

Our anniversary trip to New York City turned into a frantic apartment search. We found a place; signed the lease; came home; rented a 22-foot Penske truck (her name was Penny) with a tow dolley; loaded almost all of our worldly possessions to said rental; drove in lightning storms and heavy construction maxing at 55 mph and listening to a crappy suspense book-on-CD through Tennessee, Virginia, D.C., Maryland, Delaware and finally Jersey; unloaded in the rain in New Rochelle, N.Y. (27 minutes by express train to the Big City and home of Dick Van Dyke on his show, apparently - things you learn from old people); unpacked; visited with our friends Christina and Daniel; and proceeded to sleep through three alarms and two phone calls from the airport cab driver at 4:45 a.m. on a Sunday morning.

Penny

I eventually made it home, exhausted, just in time to work on Monday to a cat on hunger strike. At my mother's house.

It's only temporary.

Holy hell, I need to find a job. I'm working on it.

It's only temporary.

More to come...

In the meantime:

• this is hilarious
• J started a blog! About food! We can blog together. Because, obviously, we don't live together right now.
• It's only temporary.
• I'm looking for work. if you're hiring.
• Charles is eating again. Her backbone still feels like a xylophone, but she is definitely perkier and eating her nom again. Phew.
  

Did you know that there are mobile truckers' chapels at certain truck stops?

Time to roll up those Snuggie sleeves!

I love Airfare Watchdog.

If I recall correctly, I started using the website because it's what our bustling Huntsville International Airport (International - ha!) uses for fare alerts. It's great - I have a ton of alerts set up for fabulous places and three times weekly, I get email pings about especially low fares from Huntsville to a number of my preset, specified locations. New York, San Francisco, Chicago, anyone? Yes, please.

Anyway, like many of the new web-based offerings, the Airfare Watchdog crew are pretty witty writers. I received an email this afternoon that made me want to shut my mini blinds extra tight when I get home tonight.

Hi there Melanie,

Gosh, is it March already? Time to roll up those snuggy sleeves, get off the sofa, and start planning your big spring getaway, if you haven't already. So where will you be thawing out come May? Take a look at our latest finds from the Huntsville area and see what's up for grabs...

Their "insert contact name here" email marketing campaign got me dead on this time. Thanks for calling me out in front of everyone. I'll forgive you this time, low fare finders. I will suffer a lot for you letting me know that there are $138/rt fares from Nashville to Chicago right now.

Maybe it is time to shed the Snuggie and venture out of hibernation.

Charles likes the Snuggie too.

the water pilgrimage.

I just had the weird sensation of realizing that someone has been observing my daily habits, finding them unusual and trying to help me be a little more normal.

Let me explain.

I work in a really really super nice building.

The nicest building I've ever worked in over the (short) span of my working career thus far. When I move and continue working other places, it'll still probably be the nicest facility I'll have ever worked in. There's glass everywhere. Shiny marble. Fabulous modern furnishings in a four-story atrium and a little cafe serving breakfast and lunch.


There are scores of support staff that man that cafe and clean the building (including the bathrooms, all of them, at least three or four times a day.) It's ridiculous. But I am not complaining - it's also lovely.

Anyway. I have these habits. I think they're good ones. I drink a ton of water. Possibly a gallon a day; not entirely sure. I used to go fill up my trusty plastic cup at the water fountain right by my office. One day, or operations director saw me and said (I kid you not), "WHY, pray tell, are you drinking out of the water fountain?! You do realize that we have nice, filtered, refrigerator water in the break room across the atrium, don't you?"

Well, no I didn't, actually. But I guess since the water fountain is off limits (except for guests - they don't get the good stuff?), I'll start walking across the way for my many times daily fill-up.

So, for the past year or so, I've been trekking across the atrium, from my office to the break room across the way to fill up my water cup. I've really started to enjoy it - my office is nice as far as offices go. I have a secondary window that looks out on to a hallway, through another office and finally out an outside window. I get light of day, indirectly. I have a door. But the atrium. You saw the photo. Now, it's a break I look forward to - getting up, stretching my legs, checking out the action in the atrium (that's where visitors come) and enjoying the full sunshine you see in the fully glassed-in area. Plus, I walk like, half a mile a day, to and fro between office and break room.

This morning, my little routine was interrupted by a really pleasant lady who works in the cafe.

"I see you walking way over there at least 25 times a day," she says. "You know the cafe water is triple-filtered, right? And cold? Why don't you just come get your water from the kitchen?" She says this all very patiently, as I'm obviously a tad slow to be walking a half mile per day just for water.

So anyway, I feel obligated to explain to her that I skip the water fountain because I was encouraged to drink the filtered water. I'm not a water snob, I insist. A little fluoride is good for a person.

In summary:

• Water fountain (is less than) filtered breakroom water (is less than) super awesome triple filtered chilled cafe water.
  
• I am a weirdo who drinks way too much water, walks too far for it and thinks she's too good for the water fountain.
• We have entirely too many water options. I mean, seriously.
  

Sigh. Sometimes I wish I could just be odd in peace without people noticing my little quirks and trying to help me out. Although, it is kind of touching that they care.

And, I apologize for sharing the weird again. I do think this little exercise will help dissolve the writer's block I've been experiencing while writing pages for our annual report. So this has been beneficial after all. I think I need a water break first, though...

OH! And so this isn't a total loss. I give you, Barcelona:

EF - Live The Language - Barcelona from Albin Holmqvist on Vimeo.

Hm. This isn't my favorite of the series but it still makes me insanely travel-jealous. We wanted to go here for our honeymoon but realized that there was a bit of a cash flow issue for a weeklong (or more) Euro trip. We had the best vacation we've ever had in Vegas, thanks to a family friend. But Barcelona is still on the bucket list. And it sure would be nice to go there while I still look decent in a swimsuit. Although, I'm pretty sure I never looked like the girl in the video. Seesh.

It's beer-thirty

Did you know there was such a product?


I had no idea. I saw them at a quickie-mart last Saturday in Nashville.

You learn something new every day.

Hope they're not as nasty as this beer/malt liquor caffeinated concoction. Yikes.

And I thought the treadmills were cool

Found this in my daily design blog reading, oddly enough. Apparently a reader was reminded of this video thanks to a weekly "pets on furniture" feature they have. I love that pets on furniture feature. They all look pretty happy in their situations, and a lot of them look like rescue critters, too. From the slammer to the couch - what an excellent turn of events for them. Perhaps we'll take one of Chuck chilling when we get our new couch!

Anyhow - O.K. Go is the best, I've decided.




Also, some other things to make you happy -

Hyperbole and a Half: ever heard of her? Me neither. So I visited her about pageS and continued to die laughing. How completely, awesomely, unhelpful?

Seriously, the best -
Sneaky hate spiral. (this about sums up my last week.)
The alot is better than you at everything.

I Gotta Feeling...

That tonight's gonna be a good night,
That tonight's gonna be a good night,
That tonight's gonna be a good GOOD night!

I love this song. It's inexplicable. I know the Black Eyed Peas are totally cheesy. And pop-y. But I adore most of their stuff, and especially this little number.

Check 'em out on Oprah. J showed me this video last night and it completely made my evening. I, by the way, am 100 percent that one girl in the front - jamming out while everyone is looking at her like she's having a seizure. Hilarious.



There's a sharper version on YouTube (here), but I like this one because you can see the girl completely spazzing out before the others join her. Heh.

Erm, I hope this will counteract the intensity of my previous post a smidge. Considered removing it, but decided that that would be a cop out. A person can't be all sunshine and happiness all the time. It's all cyclical. And I'm on an upswing. :)

My 25-year life status report

This post needs a little back story:

My mom has her masters degree in counseling. As in, secondary school-age kid counseling. She's an education manager now, but she still has these pesky guidance counselor tendencies, and being the child of this made me the subject of lots of life goal related experiments...

Which brings me to life goals. Mom has never been the type to push my brother and I in any particular direction (we weren't expected to be virtuosos at the piano/violin/viola/fluglehorn/all of the above at age 2 1/2. Nor were we coached into oblivion at soccer/tennis/racketball practice. But mom did like for us to have goals. Not set in stone "I-WILL-be-a-hedge-fund-manager-making-six-figures-by-thirty" goals, but nice things that we'd like to achieve in our lives.

So, here's the card that mom had me create a long time ago and rediscovered during her kitchen remodel. I wish I'd dated it, because I can't recall exactly how old I was when I made this list. Judging by my handwriting, the fact that the pen was pink and my spelling... I was somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-12 years old. Classic.

For everyone's enjoyment, here's my quarter century check-in on my 11-year-old self's life goals. Let's see how I'm doing, shall we?I will answer them in the order in which they were originally penned (wonder if this was a prioritized list... it would be pretty darn random if it were.)

1. Speak Japanese: Negatory. I do remember dribs and drabs of my college level French. Heck I even conjugate french verbs in my head from time to time if I get bored. And I DO know how to order "two beers" in at least six different languages. Perhaps if I learn how to do that in Japanese I could partially claim this goal. (Nice! "Beer Please" in 26 languages?!) Japanese? Check. Bee-ru ip-pon ku-da-sai?
   
2. Be a better dancer: Awwww, this one is really sweet! At some point in my life, I reached for the stars, see?! Since this was written at age 11 - and I started dancing at age five and stopped at age 18 after high school (and Ann's Studio of Dance) graduation - I can fairly say that, yes, I believe I did become a better dancer! And while I was always more of a "let's stick her in the back because... she's tall" kind of a dancer, I do think I improved over the years. And while I may not be prima ballerina material, all of that dancing did make me a much better dancer at parties (woot!) and improved my overall posture and carriage, this was quite a good expenditure of so much of my time as a kid. Dancing? Check.
   
3. Be come (sic) an author of books: So, I might not have become an author, but my writing (and *ahem* spelling) skills sure have improved over the years! A couple of hardass English teachers in high school and Journalism 1100 at Auburn certainly did whip me into shape here. My first story as a volunteer for The Auburn Plainsman even made the front cover! One day I might even buckle down and attempt a novel... I'll get back to you on that part of this goal, but.... Writer? Check.
4. Learn more about geogaphry (sic): Again with the spelling! At least I improved upon that. Hmmm... geography improvement, hey? Well, I've been a lot of new places since age 11. I've visited Europe and hit many more states. I've become more and more aware where global places of interest are by following the news... and following the news is a good citizen thing to do, right? So. While it could use continued improvment, I have definitely learned more about "geogaphry". Geography? Check.
5. Get my bedroom painted: We didn't "paint" my bedroom, we did better. I somehow convinced my parents to put up a giant, full wall width mural of a deserted island beach on my bedroom wall. I managed to (a) get my mom on board with my rather out there decor scheme and (b) get my dad to actually put that puppy up on my wall. There were a lot of expletives coming from my bedroom that weekend. I'm obviously still using those persuasive skills I used to get what I wanted in a new field - PR! Perfect career choice for my skill set, I think! And, I still do enjoy design and again, can't wait to get my bedroom painted... in a house I own. I'm so tired of white rental house walls! Painting? Not exactly. But what I got was something much more involved and AWESOME. Bedroom? Check.
6. Have my own little garden: As in, not part of my mom's massive garden... hel-lo! And lo and behold - I DO have my own little garden! It's a rental house garden, i.e. all in pots and hanging baskets, but it's gorgeous, in full bloom this summer and I completed it myself! Nice one, Sollid. Garden? Check.
7. Be an "A" (scribbled out "B") student: BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. So, who wants to bet that my mom was looking over my shoulder on this one and encouraged me to reach even further for the stars? "Hmm, that's great Mel, but don't you think you could probably make all A's? We don't want you selling yourself short, now. This is a goal list, after all." So, thanks mom, for making me botch a goal. How's a B-and-a-half student? Half A's, half B's the occasional C in an Algebra course? I came out all right didn't I?! Geez. Decent student? Check. I'm giving myself this one. Argue with me. Dare ya.
8. Make two new friends: I've made WAY more than two new friends, but this is still one of my favorite things to do. I made all new friends when I moved away to D.C. and had to or totally forefeit a social life. I continued to make more new friends when I moved back to Huntsville as a part of the workforce and wanted to meet other young professionals (I hate that term, I need to coin a new, less yuppie-sounding one) like me. Thank God for friends, they make being a grownup bearable! Friends? Check.
   

Thanks, mom, for finding this note card. And for making me write it in the first place. I really like the person I was back then - in all of her spastic, nerdy, do-goody glory. And I especially like that, by reading back, I am coming to realize that I am still in a nutshell my 11-year-old self. Because she was pretty awesome.

It's not just me!

Stumbled across this article - How Bea Arthur helped my body image - today on HuffPo and cracked up.

Author Leslie Goldman writes in her piece about how even though she's not particular masculine or muscle-y, she's always identified herself with Arthur's character Dorothy on Golden Girls.

As a tall girl growing up, I often felt much...bigger. Bigger than the other girls, bigger than the boys, too big for tapered Guess jeans or cheerleading uniforms. And for some bizarre, warped reason, I always identified with Bea. I thought I looked like her. She was tall and slightly manly looking and when I watched her sipping coffee in her Florida kitchen, chastising Rose (who I now realize I am so like, it's scary) for making some inane St. Olaf remark, I thought, "That's what I look like. I'm going to wear shoulder pads and floor length caftans and look like Bea Arthur when I grow up." I am not fabricating this -- ask my mom or my husband. Of course, I could have looked to any number of tall actresses or models. Cindy Crawford, maybe? But my sweet little lost mind chose Bea.

I find this whole bit hilarious, mainly because I feel exactly the same way. The only difference is that this chick is 6'1 sometimes. In heels. Blake Lively is probably approximately the same. I, however, am six feet even. No shoes. If I bust out the hot shoes (or more likely borrow a friend's, because I rarely buy heels taller than three inches) and go out, I am positively ginormous. Like, 6'5, a-head-at-least-above-everyone-else-in-the-bar tall. Goldman hits the nail on the head when she brings up a Blake Lively interview:

I'm not alone in my Tall=Big Girl Syndrome. Recently, I read an interview with my Girl Crush, Blake Lively, in Allure, and was shocked (but strangely relieved) when she admitted, "I feel like a tranny a lot of the time. I don't know, I'm...large? They put me in six-inch heels, and I tower over every man. I've got this long hair and lots of clothes and makeup on. I just feel really big a lot of the time, and I'm surrounded by a lot of tiny people. I feel like a man sometimes."

Please don't be mistaken. This is not a "poor me, the tall girl" post. My body image is just fine, and women like Lively (though I suspect she's not the brightest crayon) and Charlize Theron and Aisha Tyler do us six-footers proud. And I can inconspicuously gain quite a bit of weight and still look A-OK. It's none of those things.

But... when we go to the drag show, or the high heel drag race in Dupont Circle, I do end up cracking a lot of jokes about getting confused for a competitor. And can you blame me?

Which of these things is not like the other?

No reason for this particular tangent, other than that I find it hilarious and refreshing that there are those out there in the same predicament. Hooray for tall (mannish....?) girls! Kidding! Sort of.

Ca$hville in photos

I've been feeling more visual than literary lately. So, here's Nashville in photos. Friend Michelle told us about cheap Opryland Hotel rates. Once we got there we were able to upgrade our room to an atrium view... lovely. If you get the chance to go, you should try to finagle an atrium room. It made the stay.

View of the Cascades from our room balcony.

Balcony view #2 - the waterfall. We originally were in a third floor room and asked to move because we were directly at eye level with everyone walking by on the walkway. Awkward.

We (and by "we" I mean "I") took a lot of time farting around in Opry Mills. Found a bunch of cute stuff... Just about made J terminal until we hit the end - the Bass Pro Shops outdoor store. That place is huge. And terrifying. Totally packed with taxidermy critters of all shapes and sizes. While J was examining the kayaks and gear I spotted this little beaver vignette that someone cleverly enhanced. It's hard work hacking logs with your teeth. Every beaver needs a value-sized Diet Coke to quench its thirst every once in a while.

So, the outdoor store was just terrifying on the whole. Behold, the biggest effing catfish I have ever seen. Apparently it's not unusual for them to get this large. Who knew? I was sharing my newfound knowledge with a kickball buddy, who then told me about catfish noodling (!!!) WTF. One more note about the great outdoors. J informed me that all the stuffed (and live) critters were strategically placed to remind shoppers what the real outdoor camping/hiking/fishing experience is like. And on that note, I've decided that my as yet unrealized camping career will never come to fruition. How about a block party instead? Or some bocce. These outdoor activities are more my speed.

Eventually we made it out of Natureland (alive and unscathed by the ginormous bottom feeding fish). After another prolonged wine and cheese session on our balcony, we headed out to eat. When in Nashville, check out Sunset Grill. We had an amazing prix fixe three course meal there for $20. It was quite the recession friendly vacation.

I am thoroughly enjoying traveling in this economy! You can do so much for so little expense. I'm thinking girls' weekend soon. The end.

Vanity Fair does West Side Story

Another fun post. This one reminded me of two things:

1. A consistent appreciation of almost Vanity Fair photo shoot I've seen... enough so that I finally realized I should just go ahead and subscribe to the magazine. I need a replacement for the recent lack of Domino in my life, anyway, and
2. How much I need to re-watch West Side Story. Consider it added to the Netflix queue. (Which my movie picks seem to be dominating lately... sorry J.)

Anyway, here are some of the highlights. I recognized lots of faces... some of which I couldn't exactly place. I sense more Netflix adds in my future. Sorry J.

J.Lo as Anita, Camilla Belle as Maria and that guy from Lost as Bernardo

love this scene...

I totally agree with J.Lo's quote in the piece... Anita was always my favorite character, too. She had the best outfits by far. And dance moves.

Check out the rest of the slideshow!

Bakula's baaaack!

Holy crap! Scott Bakula of Quantum Leap fame, is back to primetime next season as Chuck's dad in, uh, Chuck!

I watched that show last season but lost interest after the writers' strike. This, however, might be the gimmick that brings me back to the show...

I LOVED Quantum Leap! My brother and I were all about that show! That, ChiPs and Charlie's Angels (sorry for implementing you in that one, Greg, but you know it's true...) Granted, all of my memories of the show are the supersweet pool game in the intro where he had this hologram guide to sink all the balls... and his hologram friend who was always smoking a cigar. And that he often was either in a woman's body and then, hilariously in drag. He was always stopping people from committing suicide or abandoning a child or shooting someone... Funny what you remember about shows you watched when you were young.

Anyway, he was the best! (Well, after MacGyver)

Can't wait to see him back on T.V.

Finishing out 2008 in photos

Typically, when I want to mark memorable occasions, I take lots of photos on my snazzy digital camera (thanks, J!). I take tons of carefully posed photos and calculatedly candid ones to recreate as exactingly as I can the mood of the day or event.

Ever since I got my iPhone (again... thanks J. That man keeps me in the technology, that's for sure) I've discovered that my phone's camera roll depicts a much more realistic and organic perspective on my daily life.

So, with that, I present you my fall and winter 2008 in photos. Looking back, it was really quite lovely. And looking forward, I can't wait to take more meaningful snaps in 09.

September 2008 at the Auburn/Mississippi State game. Amazingly fun? Yes. Depressing loss? Also, yes. And, I know the photo is trippy looking. I like it specifically because of this.

A visit to the Jack Daniels Distillery in Lynchburg, Tenn. on the way to Nashville for a tourist trip with the family and visiting Canadians. Of course, this stop inspired to drink only Jack at the honky tonks in Nashvegas. Led to an interesting weekend...

Enjoyed Thanksgiving with family and lots of friends. Even got a "brothers" reunion in - this happens less and less often as the years progress.

The Revival Tour at WorkPlay in Birmingham. The lead singers of a of my favorite bands played solo, acoustic, folk-y sets. Amazing. Moving.

Spent time with my mom and brother (and the other set of siblings in the house, Nisse and Loki - above. They. chew. on. everyting. And use each other as furniture) over the holiday season. Lots of nice meals and Food Network/HGTV watching and great company.

Received lovely, just-to-be-nice, flowers at work from J. Made my week, and they lasted such a long time!

Decorated my very first Christmas tree. I know I blogged about turquoise and lime green decor. It looks way more green and blue, now. I'll take a new photo and repost soon.

Since DC was an "event", and a reunion and lots of other things, I actually took real camera photos. This will warrant it's own post soon, I'm sure.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Meh.

So, I did find a news piece during my Hotdogger writing last week that announces the introduction of the Simpson's-coined phrase, "meh" into the Collins English Dictionary 30th anniversary edition.

The greatest part about this news piece is that it actually explains "meh" purely by its existence.

Let me clarify. If any dictionary I've ever heard of added meh to its lexicon, I would be impressed. If meh were recognized as a word by, say, the OED, or even Merriam-Webster, that might warrant more than just an expression of indifference or boredom.

I s'pose these are all media stunts by dictionary PR people... (dictionary PR people... interesting... meh.) but at least Merriam-Webster has some national clout. They are the ones responsible for determining the word of the year, after all - which was w00t last year.

Merriam-Webster creates a list of the 10 most popular words of the year... new words enter the lexicon when MW editors "read and mark" news sources to find new words, define them, and track their usage. If a word looks like its starting to catch on in popular vocabulary, then editors consider adding the word into the MW lexicon.

The top 10 are voted upon by MW.com web visitors and aren't necessarily included into the official dictionary - (like w00t or facebook) but others are already part of the english language... like terrorist, or insurgent.

Sure, it's gimmicky, but I really like their top 10s - they're like a barometer for the national mood of each year.

The lists for the past few years really are interesting. For example, in addition to w00t, 2007 featured conundrum, hypocrite and charlatan. Hmmm, time for another election, perhaps?

2006 highlighted more war words - insurgent, terrorist, vendetta, sectarian, quagmire and war were all chosen by MW.com voters. On a lighter note, voters selected the Colbert-coined truthiness and google as a verb. (Gah, these voters are late adopters...)

2005 was the year of the natural disaster - top words included refugee, contempt, pandemic, tsunami, levee and inept (cough, FEMA, cough). The top word of '05 was integrity. Interesting.

I like how these top 10 lists are a a retrospective of their years...

Wonder what 2008 will bring - I'll bet on a few:

• recession
• depression
• downturn
• economy
• hope
• change
• joe six pack
  
• main street

I wonder when we'll ever get a nice, happy year again. There hasn't been one for a while... but I like hope and change. They would have sounded so lame and Pollyanna a few years ago, but by now we're all so sick of this we're ready for some optimism. Anyone else? Guesses for 2008?

I love words, but sometimes the best descriptor is not disgusted or fatigued or even desperate. Sometimes a simple meh best describes how over the state of everything we are. And a word like w00t describes how ready we are for something new.

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener...

Sent to me from J, with the oh-so-enthusiastic (enthusiasm being wayyy out of character for him) message:

I think I just found you the perfect Job! it involves traveling meeting interesting people. and it is looking for someone with a BA in PR!!!! I would totally come with you!

Oh dear. My boyfriend wants me to be a Hotdogger. As in, a brand ambassador for Oscar Meyer, roving the lower 48 in the Wienermobile, spreading good hot dog cheer to Americans young and old. And yes ladies and gentlemen, the Hotdoggers have a blog. Sweet. And kind of hilarious.

In store visits, radio and T.V. spots, promotional and charity events... the whole nine.

One of the main requirements (beyond having a degree in a communications related field - check) is being insanely perky and being quick with the hot dog and bologna puns. Puns I could probably handle. My sense of humor verges on the embarrassing most times. I really don't think I could be perky all the time though. Pleasant and polite? Yes. Goofy? Yes. Perky? Meh. (I'll be back to meh in another post. Best. Word. Ever.)

Perky makes me think of Camp War Eagle counselors, or Mousketeers. And both of those groups are kinda terrifying. I like to think of myself as happy because I just am, not happy in the weird Disney-on-uppers those camp counselors. And that's probably precisely what the hot dog juggernaut is looking for.

ANYway - for those who are interested... bachelors in some PR type field, perky, willing to travel for a year. What do you get? A "competitive" salary, keys to the Wienermobile for a whole year, and all bills and expenses paid.

Maybe I work harder on my perky and brush up on my reverse- and parallel parking-skills for large vehicles. This could be pretty fun after all.

One of those days

It's been a rough week, and now that it's coming to an end, I am relieved. And exhausted.

Exhausted enough that this morning when I was brushing my teeth and dribbled a glob of Aquafresh smack on the front of my shirt, I was unable to face the idea of trying to figure out what else to wear. So instead, I gave the spot my best with the Tide to go pen, which J so kindly noted might actually bleach my dark shirt. No dice. I proceeded to walk out the door this morning with the offending (now off white) blob still front and center on my shirt.

I'm wearing my scarf all day today. But if I do get too hot and am forced to take it off, and someone points out the stain, the official response will be, "Oh crap! I didn't even notice! Don't you hate it when that happens?"

It's one of THOSE days. Don't say you haven't done it before.

Two more thoughts on the holidays and I'm done for today -

(1) This one came upon me as I was drifting off to sleep last night and I think it's genius. Even considering starting a campaign to make the idea take off.

Thanksgiving once a quarter. Genius, right?! Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday because you get the huge meal, but you don't have to express your gratitude or appreciation with additional presents. Just the food.

I think that people should (not necessarily feel obligated, per se, but if it has to come to that, so be it) feel inclined to spend time with their close friends and loved ones more than once a year to reflect on things for which they are thankful.

November Turkey Day could still be *main* Thanksgiving, complete with Macy's (they shouldn't have to blow up the inflatables every quarter) and long distance visits. But I think mini get-togethers with local friends and closer family should happen more often.

Additionally, I would totally be up for multiple Thanksgiving feasts per year. It's almost unfair that you only officially get that food once yearly, isn't it?

(2) I think I am finally old enough to decorate my own house for Christmas. I'm not fully ready to commit to the ginormous tree and outside lighting extravaganza (if ever) until I am actually a homeowner.

However, now that I'm a bit older I think I could manage a small tree and some lights.

I'm thinking lime green, aqua and silver, mercury glass type stuff for my theme. Who knows where I can locate some acid green ornaments?!

One parting shot for Christmas music inspiration - Jack Johnson and co. has come out with a Christmas album! I just downloaded This Warm December, which features Jack, G.Love, ALO and other surf-y sounding regulars. Additionally, 25 percent of this collection's sales are going to support music education for youth. Nice. I will report back.

-Fin.-

Capital punishment - turkey style

Cookthink, a favorite of mine, (type in ANY ingredient, dish, cuisine or mood and it will pull recipes for you!) provided the content for this Thanksgiving themed post, by way of another favorite, Washington City Paper.

Did you know that Ben Franklin advised that killing turkeys by electrocution is the only way to go? And here I was debating the ways of preparation post-mortem.

Spirits, at the same time, are to be fired by a spark sent from side to side through the river, without any other conductor than the water; an experiment which we some time since performed, to the amazement of many. A turkey is to be killed for our dinners by the electrical shock; and roasted by the electrical jack, before a fire kindled by the electrified bottle: when the healths of all the famous electricians in England, France and Germany are to be drank in electrified bumpers [tumblers], under the discharge of guns from the electrical battery.

Whaaaaa?

Good old Benjy. What an innovator. You know, I think he was kicking around during a similar time frame as when Alabama became a state (1776...1819... just work with me). Wonder if they'd be interested in trying out Mr. Franklin's technique in the kitchen over at Alabama's Constitution Village after they take all of the Santa stuff down and things get calmer.

I think I shall pitch the idea. Living history at it's most exciting. Who needs wool spinning and (wool) dying when you have turkey electrocutions! Maybe they can have guinea fowl guillotines as a side attraction!

When improv troops attack!

I have been staring at an InDesign project. All. Week. Long. I am tired of moving images over three pixels because someone has decided that it looks a little "off". But that's not the point.

The point is that I needed something hilarious (or even just something, ANYTHING else) to look at for a minute. Today, my trusty Fodor's newsletter, always good for a little escapist relief on Thursday, provided humor as well.

In a piece about NYC travel, they mentioned this Improv troop's random greeting of strangers returning home from international flights at JFK International Airport...


Welcome Back from ImprovEverywhere on Vimeo.

How nice would it be to return home from a long flight (and probably an even longer trip) to a whole crowd of people with flowers, balloons and a huge banner welcoming lil' old you back?! At first, they targeted only people who had drivers picking them up, which made me a little sad. I mean, when have I ever been picked up at an airport by a driver... um, never.

But then, the in-laws of a newlywed couple returning from Europe got in on the act. As the troop prepared to pack it up for the day, they came up and asked if they would do one last welcome party for the young lovers. Freaking hilarious.

Gah, I love Fodor's. And now I love ImprovEverywhere, too. Happy Thursday! One more to go, if you have a normal week. Or, if you're me, you'll be working on Saturday night, too. :( I need to find more funny vids to help soften that blow...

Because there aren't enough of these already

So, I read and inordinate amount of web content every day. It must be directly related to the amount of time that I spend in front of a computer and the inability to focus on one thing without a mental break for more than an hour at a time.

Some people complain that the web - social media, unending news, celebrity gossip and the like - is the cause the collective public's short attention span and that this information overload will be our downfall.

Whether I was born to crave an excess of information to sift through, analyze and comment on, or whether this need I have is a result of the era in which I was born, my condition remains the same.

I'm looking forward to having a place to sort and display the best of what goes on in my head. A trophy case for my most coherent or entertaining thoughts - or a junk heap. We'll see. Bring on the information overload, baby.