Happy Friday.

I like to end my week on a positive note. Pure entertainment, ladies and gentlemen. Say what you will about Jimmy or Justin, but try to say this isn't highly amusing.

Me and my zombie alter ego.

It's been a busy few weeks. Social South was amazing. I met a ton of people that I look forward to keeping up with in my circle of social network friends. I reunited with some great old friends, including Katie and my Style & Design teacher Robert, who taught me everything I started out with about Web design. All in all, a great weekend of new and old friends paired with novel and familiar concepts in the world of SM.

Immediately upon returning home, J and I took engagement photos. We're not usually huge on over-hyping life events (a few photos at the wedding itself would have been fine for us) but a good friend of mine, Meghan, is quite the hobbyist photographer. Anyway, Meghan took some fantastic engagement photos that she posted on her Web site and we got to keep. Win/win!

Here's Good Melanie:
The pictures were lots of fun, but quite honestly, neither J nor I are the most comfortable with these intentional, posed photo sessions. I was feeling a bit... hm, precious, after we got our really cute, newspaper announcement-worthy images.

Enter the Thriller dance. Huntsville's Dixie Derby Girls roller derby team hosted a Thrill-HER (uh, MJ, anyone?) themed final home derby bout for the 2009 season and put out a call for Thriller dancers. About 10 of us responded. We practiced hard though, had a blast and performed for the masses (seriously, about 700-plus people) on Saturday, August 29. It was incredibly fun. And now I have a new party trick. Everyone needs to know the Thriller dance, I've decided, to be a functioning part of society. Ironic, since MJ himself was a bit touch and go at the end. Let's remember him fondly in his pre-creepy days...

Here's Bad Melanie:

My makeup job was AWESOME. A girlfriend happened upon a professional makeup artist out the night before the dance. My face was covered in liquid latex. I had craters and bruises and it looked like my nose had rotted off. My mother was horrified. Like I said, awesome.

Here's the video. Two full minutes of MJ-80s-hayday-fabulousity. Enjoy!

Unfortunately, the vid was originally posted on Facebook. Hope everyone can get there...

It's not just me!

Stumbled across this article - How Bea Arthur helped my body image - today on HuffPo and cracked up.

Author Leslie Goldman writes in her piece about how even though she's not particular masculine or muscle-y, she's always identified herself with Arthur's character Dorothy on Golden Girls.

As a tall girl growing up, I often felt much...bigger. Bigger than the other girls, bigger than the boys, too big for tapered Guess jeans or cheerleading uniforms. And for some bizarre, warped reason, I always identified with Bea. I thought I looked like her. She was tall and slightly manly looking and when I watched her sipping coffee in her Florida kitchen, chastising Rose (who I now realize I am so like, it's scary) for making some inane St. Olaf remark, I thought, "That's what I look like. I'm going to wear shoulder pads and floor length caftans and look like Bea Arthur when I grow up." I am not fabricating this -- ask my mom or my husband. Of course, I could have looked to any number of tall actresses or models. Cindy Crawford, maybe? But my sweet little lost mind chose Bea.

I find this whole bit hilarious, mainly because I feel exactly the same way. The only difference is that this chick is 6'1 sometimes. In heels. Blake Lively is probably approximately the same. I, however, am six feet even. No shoes. If I bust out the hot shoes (or more likely borrow a friend's, because I rarely buy heels taller than three inches) and go out, I am positively ginormous. Like, 6'5, a-head-at-least-above-everyone-else-in-the-bar tall. Goldman hits the nail on the head when she brings up a Blake Lively interview:

I'm not alone in my Tall=Big Girl Syndrome. Recently, I read an interview with my Girl Crush, Blake Lively, in Allure, and was shocked (but strangely relieved) when she admitted, "I feel like a tranny a lot of the time. I don't know, I'm...large? They put me in six-inch heels, and I tower over every man. I've got this long hair and lots of clothes and makeup on. I just feel really big a lot of the time, and I'm surrounded by a lot of tiny people. I feel like a man sometimes."

Please don't be mistaken. This is not a "poor me, the tall girl" post. My body image is just fine, and women like Lively (though I suspect she's not the brightest crayon) and Charlize Theron and Aisha Tyler do us six-footers proud. And I can inconspicuously gain quite a bit of weight and still look A-OK. It's none of those things.

But... when we go to the drag show, or the high heel drag race in Dupont Circle, I do end up cracking a lot of jokes about getting confused for a competitor. And can you blame me?

Which of these things is not like the other?

No reason for this particular tangent, other than that I find it hilarious and refreshing that there are those out there in the same predicament. Hooray for tall (mannish....?) girls! Kidding! Sort of.

Susan Boyle, i love you.

I'm not the biggest fan of elimination reality shows. Especially American Idol - except for that one season where the girl who got kicked off unbelievably early took it all after the show. There's just something painful to me about watching people who are serious about achieving their hopes and dreams by way of Simon Cowell getting it all crushed. On national TV, no less.

I kinda hate it, but I was even thinking to myself that she was going to be another weirdo who goes on these shows and warbles away. While it makes me cringe to see these people get made fun of post performance, I also kinda wish they would have had the presence of mind not to go on at all.

So this morning, my friend @griffingotgun posted this video of Susan Boyle on Twitter.

It starts badly. She's kind of frowsy. She's smiling way too much, a little uncomfortable, 47 years old and unemployed. She wants to be a superstar and Simon is warming up for a good destruction session. And then:

Susan Boyle Sings on Britain's Got Talent 2009 Episode 1 @ Yahoo! Video

Susan Boyle shows EVERYONE what's up. This video makes me sooo happy.

Well Susan Doyle is not your typical Professional singer. She’s 47, has a cat named Pebbles, and has never been kissed. And of course, the audience was quite skeptical with much cat-calling and eye-rolling as Susan introduced herself and spoke of her dream to be a professional singer.

[...]The 47 year old charity worker from West Lothian, drew smirks from the audience when she revealed that she wanted a career like that of West End singer Elaine Paige. But after her jaw-dropping performance and gorgeous voice, who knows what is possible for this sweet-demeanored singer? [source]

Happy Wednesday :)

Now I need to see an unexpectedly good dancer on my favorite summer reality show. Everyone loves an underdog!

on burning cds

During high school and college, I was the mix CD queen. You knew you were part of my inner circle if you got a hand decorated CD from Melanie. Making one of these CDs took me upwards of an hour, painstakingly selecting songs for optimal flow, no listener track skippage and the ultimate CD-listening experience. It was both an art and a science.

Then there was the decorating.

I know from personal experience that it is exceptionally hard to keep track of a CD jewel case and sleeve, so I always relied on the CD itself to convey the message I wished to share. Using a rather impressive array of colored sharpies, I would write the track list - songs and artists on the CD. I would use my (minimal) remaining space to illustrate... usually some sort of palm tree or beach motif. Or stars. Or hearts. And then add a personal message:

Dear Kristen/Greg/Jonathan/Jenn/Michelle/Chris,

Happy Graduation/Birthday/Valentine's Day/break up/reunion/got-your-braces-off
You're the best!

♥ Mel XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Those CDs, while exceedingly cheesy, were quite popular. I loved getting inspired by an occasion (I especially remember making ones for all the girlfriends before we went off to our various colleges) and fitting the music to the mood.



Lots of these are still lying around in various friends, boyfriends and siblings car consoles, CD-R holders and desk drawers and are pulled out to relive that month in our lives: headed to college after high school graduation, first valentine's day in a relationship, pick-me-up CD for a best friend during finals, big brother's 21st birthday.

To me, the mix CD is more thoughtful at times than a handwritten letter - and this coming from a writer. While both are used express the mood of an occasion, music is powerful. Hearing the first strain of the hit rap song of 2002 brings back dancing around the dorm while getting ready to go out your first semester of college. The chorus of Wonderwall brings back sitting on that pedestrian bridge in Paris, singing along, in English with kids from all over the world, enjoying the July evening in the City of Light.

They say that smell is the most instantaneous link to memory, but for this hyper-allergic writer, sound is just as equally powerful.

On that note,

Dear Christina,

Congratulations, love! You're getting hitched. Let's take this weekend to symbolically recognize all of the time up till now that this group of girls has spent together. Let's celebrate the current gorgeous, immensly intelligent (and charming) and successful - working for Calvin Klein in Manhattan - you, by taking trip back to less complicated times. Here's to you. And us. And what we have become through all of those fun times.

♥ Mel XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

track list:

Outkast - Bombs Over Baghdad
Destiny's Child - Bug-a-Boo; Bills, Bills, Bills
Any crappy rap song from the early '00s
Blink-182
Oasis
OAR
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
The Beatles
Britney Spears
anything Gwen Stefani and No Doubt
TLC
Missy Elliott
Ludacris
Nelly Furtado
Jimmy Eat World
...and more

Yeah, yeah... laugh it up. Most of this is pretty passé by now, but at the time, that was our music. Embarassing as it may be now, this weekend these songs will take us back to the happiest, easiest times of our lives. Before jobs and rough economies. Before committed relationships and car payments. Now that I have the CD burner back up and running, I might have to get back into the practice.

It's like what they said about mix tapes before we made the switch to burning CDs - all of the effort had gone out of the endeavor. There was no longer copying one song at a time using two tape decks. Now, there's no more dragging and dropping, labeling and burning. There's just the iPod cord and the on-the-go list, all downloaded remotely. I might keep up this dying art for a little longer, if just for the happiness a palm tree and some x's and o's provide a friend. Congrats, Chris.

Mail goggles and other life savers

This just in: Google creates idiot-proof Gmail. Love it. Too bad even though we use Gmail for work, I feed it through Entourage. Potentially even considering switching back to it's pure form 'cause these features are priceless:

• Five second send delay - in case you spot an awkward typo or accidental.
• "Are you sure?" reply all - so that (potentially snarky?) response intended solely for the sender doesn't reach all of those unintended recipients.
• The ever popular "Mail Goggles" (Doesn't this sound like one of their April Fool's jokes?)
  
• Facemail... corresponding photos with emails showing up in the to: line so that you don't accidentally autofill the wrong name...
• Attachment check. I do this at least three times a week. "Hmm. Sorry - here's the attachment." And I always catch it seconds after the darn thing sends.
  

[...]the lawyer for Eli Lilly who wanted to e-mail her co-counsel Bradford Berenson details of a negotiation but instead sent them to Alex Berenson, a reporter for the New York Times. The result was a front-page scoop revealing that Eli Lilly was talking with the government about a billion-dollar fine for improperly marketing its anti-psychotic drug Zyprexa. (And so much for the effectiveness of those lengthy legal disclaimers at the bottom of corporate e-mails.) - from Slate

Because sometimes doing something as easy as activating "Undo Send" in Gmail Labs under Settings, and you’ll see a new “Undo” link on every sent mail confirmation. Click “Undo,” Gmail grabs the message before it’s sent and take you right back to compose. Woohoo! Check out the full post here.

Now if only they'd create similar features for Facebook...

Italian lawmakers are sleazier than ours!

I have been a negligent poster lately, mostly because I don't have a second to think about anything not work related, and when do come up for air, the last thing I want to do is spend more time on the computer.

This was too good, though. And it makes me feel better about our entire political system here in the U.S. - bank bailouts, bipartisan bickering and all.

On my way home from work yesterday, I heard this lovely piece about how Italian members of parliament were protesting a proposed fingerprint ID voting system because...

...they would actually have to be present to cast their votes. Um, SERIOUSLY?!

These guys apparently skip all the time (probably to conduct steamy affairs with Sophia Loren lookalike mistresses - in my head, anyway) and have their buddies lean over the table to hit their electronic voting button for them. Lawmakers are concerned that they will have to spend too much time in the chambers. The lawmakers. Don't want to waste their time. Casting their own (the public's?!) votes. And making laws. The lawmakers.

But they've reached a great compromise! In return for being so flexible and compliant with, oh, agreeing to complete their civic duties as lawmakers and being there for all the votes, they get an extra hour long coffee break each day! And a two hour break on Wednesdays! Gah, we all know how pesky those hump days are - they definitely call for a two hour break to make them more manageable.

So, let's not feel too badly about our politicians... It'd be interesting to see what state of affairs Italy is in right now. If they're better off than we are, perhaps we should consider coffee breaks for all!

Fingerprint voting not popular in Italy’s parliament (1:00) | PRI's The World

Posted using ShareThis

Social musings... and TIME on FB and fogies

Among other things for work, I have been tasked with analyzing the major social media outlets and recommending which of them I feel would be a good fit for our organization, and at what level of participation.

Between Facebook, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Digg, countless Ning communities, Twitter and the countless other outlets out there, I've come to a couple of major realizations:

1. In order to remain current in social media you have to be one of two things (1) young, with time on your hands and the confidence to play with each new wave or (2) an early adopter.
   
2. Becoming an effective early adopter of every. trend. out. there. requires time. Lots and lots of time. Like, full time.

While I am a devotee of social media (thanks initially to Robert French and a little class called Style and Design in Public Relations Messages), I do get overwhelmed. This is not my full time job. This is one aspect of a much larger job - and as the designated "social media girl" I am the only one officially charting these waters at the office for the organization.

Questions I'll work on - and pass along here - as I find answers:

• What new media outlets are the best for organizations? Specifically, non-profit, science heavy organizations? It seems to me a lot of social media (Twitter, online communities and others) are best utilized by individuals unoficially tied to an org.
• How much time out of my work day should I spend on these outlets? On which should I concentrate most of that time?
• Other than reading Mashable and Twitter... and about 500 marcom pro's blogs religiously, is there a good, consistent way to stay current with the latest technologies?
  

Staying current is key, and I am aware of this - but I also want to tailor these outlets to work for me (as an individual) and more importantly, for my organization. Any ideas or suggestions for a new approach? I'm overwhelmed!

...

Oh yeah - and I think I'm quitting Facebook soon -

TIME Magazine on Why Facebook Is for Old Fogies

My favorite is number three:

3. We never get drunk at parties and get photographed holding beer bottles in suggestive positions. We wish we still did that. But we don't. (See pictures of Beer Country in Denver.)

Funny, while I'm slightly irked about the fogies overrunning Facebook, I am envious that they (aside from the occasional, unphotographed, indescresion) have outgrown this phase. I have not.

Enjoy!

And, if you have some pointers for me about the former, please help!

Photo from the mentioned Time article.

Greetings from the future Texas Republic!

From the WSJ and CitizenSugar:

According to Igor Panarin, the US is going to disintegrate by June 2010, breaking into six portions under the control of various other world powers.

A polite and cheerful man with a buzz cut, Mr. Panarin insists he does not dislike Americans. But he warns that the outlook for them is dire.

"There's a 55-45% chance right now that disintegration will occur," he says. "One could rejoice in that process," he adds, poker-faced. "But if we're talking reasonably, it's not the best scenario -- for Russia." Though Russia would become more powerful on the global stage, he says, its economy would suffer because it currently depends heavily on the dollar and on trade with the U.S.

Mr. Panarin posits, in brief, that mass immigration, economic decline, and moral degradation will trigger a civil war next fall and the collapse of the dollar. Around the end of June 2010, or early July, he says, the U.S. will break into six pieces -- with Alaska reverting to Russian control.

This is hilarious of course, for lots of reasons. Numbers one and two being that Canada would gain control over the Midwest and Mexico the Southeast. I love Canadians, really. And I know that out of all of the US regions, Midwesterners are probably the most mild mannered. However, I have a hard time envisioning Canada taking part of any takeover, hostile or otherwise. Unless it was a takeover of a Tim Horton's. Or perhaps a hockey riot. But even that one I'd be surprised to see....

How we'll be divvied up:

• California Republic: Formed by the Western states, this area would be controlled by China or be under Chinese influence
• Texas Republic: A cluster of states in the Southwest would go to Mexico.
• Atlantic America: Eastern states, from South Carolina to Maine, will join the European Union.
• Central North American Republic: Northern Midwest and Great Plain states will go to Canada.
• Hawaii: The state will become a territory of China or Japan.
• Alaska: Putin will rear his head into Alaskan air space, making Russia the proud new owner of the great state of Alaska.

This is mainly a comical post. However, this last piece of info. is a bit of a buzzkill...

The professor says he's convinced that people are taking his theory more seriously. People like him have forecast similar cataclysms before, he says, and been right. He cites French political scientist Emmanuel Todd. Mr. Todd is famous for having rightly forecast the demise of the Soviet Union -- 15 years beforehand. "When he forecast the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1976, people laughed at him," says Prof. Panarin.

Finishing out 2008 in photos

Typically, when I want to mark memorable occasions, I take lots of photos on my snazzy digital camera (thanks, J!). I take tons of carefully posed photos and calculatedly candid ones to recreate as exactingly as I can the mood of the day or event.

Ever since I got my iPhone (again... thanks J. That man keeps me in the technology, that's for sure) I've discovered that my phone's camera roll depicts a much more realistic and organic perspective on my daily life.

So, with that, I present you my fall and winter 2008 in photos. Looking back, it was really quite lovely. And looking forward, I can't wait to take more meaningful snaps in 09.

September 2008 at the Auburn/Mississippi State game. Amazingly fun? Yes. Depressing loss? Also, yes. And, I know the photo is trippy looking. I like it specifically because of this.

A visit to the Jack Daniels Distillery in Lynchburg, Tenn. on the way to Nashville for a tourist trip with the family and visiting Canadians. Of course, this stop inspired to drink only Jack at the honky tonks in Nashvegas. Led to an interesting weekend...

Enjoyed Thanksgiving with family and lots of friends. Even got a "brothers" reunion in - this happens less and less often as the years progress.

The Revival Tour at WorkPlay in Birmingham. The lead singers of a of my favorite bands played solo, acoustic, folk-y sets. Amazing. Moving.

Spent time with my mom and brother (and the other set of siblings in the house, Nisse and Loki - above. They. chew. on. everyting. And use each other as furniture) over the holiday season. Lots of nice meals and Food Network/HGTV watching and great company.

Received lovely, just-to-be-nice, flowers at work from J. Made my week, and they lasted such a long time!

Decorated my very first Christmas tree. I know I blogged about turquoise and lime green decor. It looks way more green and blue, now. I'll take a new photo and repost soon.

Since DC was an "event", and a reunion and lots of other things, I actually took real camera photos. This will warrant it's own post soon, I'm sure.

Happy New Year, everyone!

NPR's eggnog public service

So, I SCHEDULED this to post during Christmas. But of course that didn't work. A little bit of final holiday rambling in early January...

Did you know that homemade eggnog is made with raw eggs?

Me neither.

I haven't consumed eggnog since the time when I was very small that my dad spiked my holiday beverage with pink liquid amoxicillin. You know the stuff I'm talking about... Not sure how everyone else was, but it didn't matter to me what flavor they tried to make it - bubblegum, cherry - it always was retch-inducingly disgusting. Anyway, nog did nothing to mask the flavor and the two in combination were a taste I will never forget.

I think that any attempt to work myself back around to getting back on the eggnog bicycle should be done with the best of the best. Homemade stuff.

NPR agrees, and takes it a step further - researching the potential dangers of drinking eggnog with raw eggs and determining (with the help of a microbiologist, no less) that nog is safter with alcohol, and plenty of it. This development encourages me to get back on the eggnog bandwagon...

Listen to the story here

And check out the experiment, which you can try at home!



Personally, spiking eggnog with lots of booze sounds WAY better than spiking it with pink medicine.

How I Met Your Mother does 08

So, Entertainment Weekly has the How I Met Your Mother cast restaging the memorable moments of 2008.

Two highly entertaining things that I need to visit/watch more often: EW.com and HIMYM (Katie is on to something.)

Here are their top five:

The boys as the 2008 Men's Olympic swimming relay... Nice bod, Jason Segel. You look just like that hot blond guy.

The new Indiana Jones installment. Robin Sparkles actually cuts quite the intimidating Cate Blanchett.

The SATC movie. Take that, Mr. Big! I haven't seen this show in so long... are Robin and Ted together again yet?!

HIMYM boys as the Jonas Brothers and girls as the groupies. I may have questionable taste in entertainment sometimes (cough, Twilight... cough cough, Gossip Girl...) but at least I don't really know who these guys even are.

Aaaand finally - no 2008 retrospective would be complete without Sarah Palin.

Well, I think that was a fabulous way to end the week. Thank you for that, Barney and gang.

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener...

Sent to me from J, with the oh-so-enthusiastic (enthusiasm being wayyy out of character for him) message:

I think I just found you the perfect Job! it involves traveling meeting interesting people. and it is looking for someone with a BA in PR!!!! I would totally come with you!

Oh dear. My boyfriend wants me to be a Hotdogger. As in, a brand ambassador for Oscar Meyer, roving the lower 48 in the Wienermobile, spreading good hot dog cheer to Americans young and old. And yes ladies and gentlemen, the Hotdoggers have a blog. Sweet. And kind of hilarious.

In store visits, radio and T.V. spots, promotional and charity events... the whole nine.

One of the main requirements (beyond having a degree in a communications related field - check) is being insanely perky and being quick with the hot dog and bologna puns. Puns I could probably handle. My sense of humor verges on the embarrassing most times. I really don't think I could be perky all the time though. Pleasant and polite? Yes. Goofy? Yes. Perky? Meh. (I'll be back to meh in another post. Best. Word. Ever.)

Perky makes me think of Camp War Eagle counselors, or Mousketeers. And both of those groups are kinda terrifying. I like to think of myself as happy because I just am, not happy in the weird Disney-on-uppers those camp counselors. And that's probably precisely what the hot dog juggernaut is looking for.

ANYway - for those who are interested... bachelors in some PR type field, perky, willing to travel for a year. What do you get? A "competitive" salary, keys to the Wienermobile for a whole year, and all bills and expenses paid.

Maybe I work harder on my perky and brush up on my reverse- and parallel parking-skills for large vehicles. This could be pretty fun after all.

Capital punishment - turkey style

Cookthink, a favorite of mine, (type in ANY ingredient, dish, cuisine or mood and it will pull recipes for you!) provided the content for this Thanksgiving themed post, by way of another favorite, Washington City Paper.

Did you know that Ben Franklin advised that killing turkeys by electrocution is the only way to go? And here I was debating the ways of preparation post-mortem.

Spirits, at the same time, are to be fired by a spark sent from side to side through the river, without any other conductor than the water; an experiment which we some time since performed, to the amazement of many. A turkey is to be killed for our dinners by the electrical shock; and roasted by the electrical jack, before a fire kindled by the electrified bottle: when the healths of all the famous electricians in England, France and Germany are to be drank in electrified bumpers [tumblers], under the discharge of guns from the electrical battery.

Whaaaaa?

Good old Benjy. What an innovator. You know, I think he was kicking around during a similar time frame as when Alabama became a state (1776...1819... just work with me). Wonder if they'd be interested in trying out Mr. Franklin's technique in the kitchen over at Alabama's Constitution Village after they take all of the Santa stuff down and things get calmer.

I think I shall pitch the idea. Living history at it's most exciting. Who needs wool spinning and (wool) dying when you have turkey electrocutions! Maybe they can have guinea fowl guillotines as a side attraction!

When improv troops attack!

I have been staring at an InDesign project. All. Week. Long. I am tired of moving images over three pixels because someone has decided that it looks a little "off". But that's not the point.

The point is that I needed something hilarious (or even just something, ANYTHING else) to look at for a minute. Today, my trusty Fodor's newsletter, always good for a little escapist relief on Thursday, provided humor as well.

In a piece about NYC travel, they mentioned this Improv troop's random greeting of strangers returning home from international flights at JFK International Airport...


Welcome Back from ImprovEverywhere on Vimeo.

How nice would it be to return home from a long flight (and probably an even longer trip) to a whole crowd of people with flowers, balloons and a huge banner welcoming lil' old you back?! At first, they targeted only people who had drivers picking them up, which made me a little sad. I mean, when have I ever been picked up at an airport by a driver... um, never.

But then, the in-laws of a newlywed couple returning from Europe got in on the act. As the troop prepared to pack it up for the day, they came up and asked if they would do one last welcome party for the young lovers. Freaking hilarious.

Gah, I love Fodor's. And now I love ImprovEverywhere, too. Happy Thursday! One more to go, if you have a normal week. Or, if you're me, you'll be working on Saturday night, too. :( I need to find more funny vids to help soften that blow...

Yes we can?

Ladies and gentlemen... aren't we elated that now Obama has been elected, all of our problems are solved?! Friend Cass directed my attention to this at another favorite blog of mine, Eavesdrop DC, where you KNOW there's going to be a ton of hilarious political musings overheard on various public buses and trains and government agency cafeterias and cubicles.

Overheard while transferring from ridiculously crowded Red Line train to ridiculously crowded Yellow Line train at China Town -

Woman One: Dammmnnn girl! This Metro so damn c-rowded

Woman Two: Shit yeah. Too many people here.

Woman One: Don’t worry, Obama gonna take care of that.

So, good thing we don't have to worry about those crowded metro stops anymore, right?

In other, slightly related news (and in case you were wondering...)-

A friend on Twitter recently asked "Whenever I speak to a black person, I feel the urge to congratulate them. Is that wrong?"

Survey says - ummyeah. It is on the list of things white people shouldn't do now that Obama's been elected. In the spirit of fairness and equality, however, there is also a list of things black people shouldn't do.

No we can't, white folks
Now that Obama has won, here are three things white people shouldn't do

My personal favorite here is

"Don't personally congratulate all your black friends. Black people are not a sports team, and Obama did not win the Super Bowl."

No we can't, black folks
Our man is going to the White House. Now here are five things black people shouldn't do.

"Do not promise to name your first child after Barack Obama. We've come far, but Barack Obama Jackson does not have as much of a ring to it as you think."

And finally, to end this post on a conciliatory note - check out From 52 to 48 with Love - a collection of photos and notes sent in by readers with the message that whomever you voted for, we are all Americans, and the only way this nation is going to get back on the right path is if we all work together.

Cheesy? Yes. But call me cheesy, because I believe this stuff and a lot of those notes and pictures really spoke to me.

Unfinished business...

What an election. Now that it's over It's nice to give my overworked brain a rest and return to some less pressing subjects that I left on the back burner during the home stretch.

I really want to write some kind of astute wrap up of the election. But everyone knows how impossible it is to be insightful when you're trying. So I'll let that be until it comes to me, and share the things I dropped for now...

Simon. I saw this cat at one of those Petsmart weekend adoption events a couple of weeks ago and haven't been able to get him out of my head since. I even went so far as to look him up and "casually" email his caregiver to inquire as to whether he found a home. He hadn't. So, I was to talk to J about a fixed, grown up, litter-trained, up-to-date-on-shots, sweet and delightful (as Melissa, his foster mother said in the email) cat. Luckily for J, Simon was adopted. I hope he found as nice a home as mine would have been. Please remind me never to go to Petsmart on the weekend.

Couch. Our current one is a slipcovered hand me down with smushed padding and all around rather uncomfortable. I found this ridiculous one at a thrift store for $100 bucks. Velour with green and mustard stripes - it must have been someone's granny's because it looks ancient, but mysteriously in immaculate shape. Pretty retro fabulous in the right room. Just not sure if my living room is the right room... any interior decorators out there, amateur or otherwise?

Lady rappers. They no longer exist. What happened to them? Minus M.I.A. who's more trippy than rap-py in my opinion, where did they all go? I'm not huge on lady rappers, but I am disturbed by their disappearance. Without them, all hip hop/R&B has in the way of female representation is Mary J. Blige, Beyonce and those unnamed girls that sing the hooks in all of the male rappers' tracks. (Ha, I just said "tracks".)

I miss Missy. Come back Missy - we need another "Work It". Like, yesterday.

Twilight. The movie is coming out soon. Loved the books. Again, Katie is the better one to discuss this in depth, partially because i'm semi-ashamed of my fixation. But STILL. Three weeks until the movie of the book that consumed my West Coast trip this summer. Yay Forks!

I'm so glad I finally have a chance to hash out the other pertinent details in my life now that the election is over... Oh, who the h am i kidding?! I need some more big news. Anyone... Bueller.... Bueller?

Ouch...

Poor, poor Sarah. Might I also mention that this NYT Politics Blog post had one of the funnier headlines I've read all year -

Comment On Dit, "Prank Call"?

By Julie Bosman

OCALA, Fla. – Gov. Sarah Palin has been punk’d.

A pair of Canadian comedians, notorious for pranking politicians and heads of state, reached Ms. Palin on Saturday and pretended to be French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

According to an audio recording, a press aide handed the phone to Ms. Palin, who enthusiastically greeted the fake Sarkozy, “It’s so good to hear you, thank you for calling us.” She added, “We have such great respect for you, John McCain and I. We love you!”

Speaking in an exaggerated French accent, the fake Sarkozy asked Ms. Palin about the state of the race, dropped names of nonexistent Canadian officials, frequently interrupted her mid-sentence and told her he saw her as president one day.

“Maybe in eight years,” Ms. Palin said.

The duo, Sebastien Trudel and Marc-Antoine Audette, have pulled similar pranks on Mick Jagger, Bill Gates and French president Jacques Chirac.

At one point, he said that he shared her interest in hunting.

“Oh, very good, we should go hunting together,” Ms. Palin said.

He replied: “I just love killing those animals. Taking away life, that is so fun!”

She laughed politely.

He added: “As long as we don’t bring Vice President Cheney.”

More laughter from Ms. Palin. “No, I’ll be a careful shot,” she promised.

The call ended after about six minutes, when the host informed Ms. Palin that she had been pranked.

“Oh, have we been pranked?” Ms. Palin said. “What radio station is this?”

Tracey Schmitt, Ms. Palin’s spokeswoman, said in a statement: “Governor Palin received a phone call on Saturday from a French Canadian talk show host claiming to be French President Nicholas Sarkozy. Governor Palin was mildly amused to learn that she had joined the ranks of heads of state, including President Sarkozy, and other celebrities in being targeted by these pranksters. C’est la vie.”

At least it wasn't just her - they pranked Sarkozy, too. And points for the "mildly amused" and "C'est la vie" comments. Someone in her camp must be pretty witty...

Listen to the full audio here

Satan's Village

Oops. Santa. Santa's Village. Sorry. Must have been channeling the church lady (how annoying that I couldn't find the link - NBC, if you are going to hoard all of your videos, could you please at least make sure that they are LINKING?!).

I was volunteered by my loving, living-history-museum-employee mother to do the PR for Santa's Village - the 2006 “Event of the Year” by the State of Alabama Bureau of Tourism, that is going to wow visitors yet again in 2008 with a new twist on the attraction. Santa’s Magic Glasses will showcase the hundreds of thousands of twinkling lights in bursts of rainbow colors. Santa’s Village 2008 will also feature an enchanted ice maze for children to explore.

Can you tell I've been working on the release already?

While I'm sure I will post again about this soon enough, this particular post is not about the PR.

I was scouring Google images for happy holiday images for my nauseatingly perky flier when I came across another Santa's Village from my very distant past. Check out that photo - yesssss. Anyway, some guy was posting on this Americana site about his remembrances of the place in Lake Arrowhead, Calif., right near San Bernardino, where we used to live when I was a little kid.

"I had the privilege of visiting the park only twice, once as a child and once just before it went out of business in 1998. What impressed me the most as a kid, besides the shocking pink shake roof and bumble bee monorail, were the giant cement mushrooms. As an adult, it was how many employees had missing teeth."

HILARIOUS! We, too, visited this park and you can ask my brother - we, too, were awed by the Santa awesomeness. I'm happy to report that we never returned back there as adults to be thoroughly disappointed by the place.

It's funny how differently you remember things as a child than the way they actually are. Wish I still perceived things the way I did back then, actually.

Santa's Village 2.0, Huntsville version, is much cleaner and classier. It's actually Alabama Constitution Village - where Alabama's founding father introduced us into statehood in 1819 - all dressed up in lights and fake snow for Christmas. No giant cement mushrooms. And all of our happy, shiny volunteers and staff have their teeth... at least the front ones.

Holy flashback, Batman. Anyone else have a place like my Santa's Village?